Friday, January 15, 2010

broken heart, aching heart.

tuesday night, the rodent fell asleep on my arm.
wednesday night, i stomped my feet in the kitchen before stopping myself from throwing a toddler-type tantrum.
thursday night, we had the necropsy results.

the quiet times are hard.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

There has to be some level of insanity...

When I was younger, I somehow got my hands on a small box of Dixon Invaders. Now, nearly everybody is familiar on some level with Dixon Ticonderogas. They are visually synonymous with "No. 2 Pencil."

Dixon Invaders, on the other hand, seem to not exist. I suspect that the pencils I had were some kind of weird consequence of Dixon having purchased Wallace in 1982. The pencils I had, after all, did look a bit like the bastard children of the Ticonderoga and the #2 Wallace Invader. The ferrule was the shape of a Ticonderoga, but instead of green and yellow, the stripes were silver and blue--that is, the center stripe was blue (like that of the Wallace Invaders), and the flanking strips were silver (in color). Those were my favorite pencils (I love blue metal), and pretty much were immediately used up. I may have saved one because I was afraid I'd never be able to find them again (I was right!), since all the stores had were Ticonderogas (ugly!). Unfortunately that one was lost in the shuffle I call "life as a student." Ah, middle school... What was I thinking?

Anyway, I guess the point of this post is 1) to share the sadness that I will never again see this pencil (this isn't something I can *talk* to someone about, after all), and 2) so that there's some record of me having possessed these things. It's not proof, but I am claiming it right now: I once had Dixon Invaders.

And, really? Can any of you claim that, had you actually had these pencils, you would even have known?

I thought not. This is me. Deal with it.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

oh, but the legs...

I just saw a few pictures of designed rooms, and apparently legged furniture makes a room look bigger. Furniture that obscures the floor below it makes it seem as if the floor goes *around* that piece of furniture, while furniture with legs hovers quietly above the floor. The room is just as (or nearly as) big as if the furniture had not entered or existed.

This might be a psychological trick, but it also might be an optical illusion. After all, your eye cannot discern floor you can walk in from floor you can't access. Your brain can, of course (I hope?), but your eye can't.

Also, as an added benefit, small animals (I'm looking at you, chinchillas) can't hide under furniture with a cavernous underbelly. They can only put themselves On Display.

I'm not sure why I posted this here, other than not wanting to forget what I've just learned.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

can you retroactively fix a one-time bug that's already occurred?

windows updates has me scratching my head...
Install this update to resolve issues caused by revised daylight saving time and time zone laws in several countries. This update enables your computer to automatically adjust the computer clock on the correct date in 2009. After you install this item, you may have to restart your computer.
isn't it too late for this?

okay, okay, i know... other countries. it's just such odd timing for most windows users... our new zone law went into effect in 2007!

that, and, well... just 2009? not starting 2009?

Monday, November 23, 2009

common sense for the national anthem? yes please...

i'm not the only one...

check that...

as long as gilbert arenas is playing for the wizards, i will have a problem cheering for them.

from the washington times' mike jones
"Hidden agendas. You can't win like that," Arenas said. "I've never been on a team where you have eight free agents next year. ... I've never seen it turn out well. Sometimes it works out for the best because everybody's hungry and everybody's fighting. Sometimes it works out for the worst when everybody's out for their own.

"I guess when you start losing, everyone wants to start pointing fingers everywhere else," Arenas added. "I converted my game to try to get people involved. ... I think the only person who actually had to sacrifice was me. Everybody else can just play their game."
so... "i have no ability to make a coherent argument" and "i've got a gigantic ego," all in one go!
"I'm sitting here thinking, 'Damn, do I have to go into attack mode like I was two years ago to get us over the hump?' I hope not," Arenas said. "But like I told [Jamison], couple more games before I just say, 'Hey, I'm going to have to carry you guys on my back.'

"The NBA's a ship. It's going to keep moving. Teams are not waiting for us," Arenas continued. "As the captain, I've got to steer my ship. If I've got to steer it to land until everybody wants to jump on, then I'm going to do it. [Dwyane] Wade had to do it last year [in Miami] until everybody was ready to play; I'm going to have to do it this year. We'll see who comes and follows. [If] nobody wants to follow, then the thing's just going to keep moving."
um... same thing, but in a different order?
As Arenas said that, Haywood walked by and, calculated or not, began singing a line from the latest Beyonce song. "I got a big ego," crooned the center, who kept on moving.
yeah, haywood!

oh, and in case anybody thinks that arenas is actually a dwyane wade-esque player who has to suffer a horrible team (making his statements somewhat excusable):
Arenas has, however, remained the team leader in shots taken, averaging more than 19 a game, but his .390 shooting percentage is the worst of all the starters.
this man is going to carry a team on his back? he'd sooner run his ship aground.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

(what?) say does that...

baltimore is like a virus. the part of my life spent singing the national anthem at sports events was perfectly fine until terps fans visited lane stadium, and showed hokie fans how to yell "O!" during the national anthem. that reminds me: dear terapins, you are not the orioles.

of course, this caught on at lane stadium, and i'm pretty sure half the people don't even understand what it means (which is not to say that nobody knows what it means--i'm sure there are hokie fans who also happen to be orioles fans). overly-excited college students? check.

but even if you understand why you're doing it, it just seems disrespectful. the patriotism aspect aside (and i'd really only bring that up in terms of hypocrisy--some people who yell might also get angry at, say, flag issues), i don't go to redskins games and cheer for the hokies (okay, i don't go to redskins games period, but if i were to go to a redskins game, i would not cheer for the hokies. or the caps. or the lakers. or the pistons. point clear?), so why is it okay for you to show your oriole-ism (or baltimore-ism) at a non-oriole, non-baltimore game?

i'm okay with the yelling of the "oh" at camden yards. it's what they do there. i'm not going to say that i like it, but i'm okay with it. similarly, i'm against yelling "oh" at the verizon center, but yelling "red" at a caps game might be acceptable. i won't do it, but i'm not going to call you a dumbass if you do.


speaking of which, why is the word "red" in our national anthem, anyway? shouldn't mccarthy have done something about that?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

the wave...

some people miss the wave. i've had a problem with the wave for a long, long time. in all sports.

if you try to do it during intermission or halftime, there aren't enough butts in the seats. that means that you need to do it during the game.

if you try to start the wave during a tv timeout, i *may* join you. it will depend on my mood.

however, if you try to start the wave during play, i *may* eat you. it will depend on my mood.

a post not about hockey...

after watching last night's game, matt and i left the post-game report on while we cleaned up the dining room and the kitchen. at some point, matt yelled "bradley!"

i ran into the dining room just in time to miss a short replay of what was the best fight i've seen all season.

to make it up to myself (or perhaps because i had a hard time not walking away), i stayed to watch the rest of the highlights. once again, i saw bradley's game-winning-goal, and once again the celebration that followed showed a beat-up and bloodied face.

i began babbling about how bradley was one of my favorite players, how i couldn't explain it, how...

"stop it. you're going to cry."

"but his face is all fucked up!" i may or may not have started crying at that point.

i've seen brads with his face fucked up before. hell, earlier that game, i saw his face covered in blood. there was just something odd about his face all stitched up and red. swollen and bruised, i could handle. covered in blood? apparently yes. celebrating with a previously bloodied face? gut-wrenching.


in case anybody is wondering... yes, i still hold a grudge against david stern and joe dumars (for separate reasons, in case that's not clear). i do miss basketball, though. the main thing standing between me and watching basketball is that i mostly want to watch western conference games, and i'm now old.

now, for those of you who are used to hockey, where, for some reason, detroit, and columbus are in the western conference, i'm talking about a sport where the western conference has no teams in the eastern time zone. (in case you didn't get that, it means that detroit and columbus are western conference teams living on eastern standard time. wrap your head around *that*)

games on the west coast tend to start at 7pm plus or minus half an hour. for me, that means 9:30 to 10:30. hell, i was in bed before 10 last night. (no, that's not normal... but it's true, so i'm using it to help my case. i'm allowed to do that. i think.)

while i'm still mad a joe dumars, i may start following the pistons again. big ben wallace is back. rip and tayshaun are still there. rodney stuckey looks like 50 cent (say it with me: "fiddy). maybe.

speaking of the old pistons team, flip saunders is here now, coaching the wizards. i feel bad for him... on some level, i think i'd be happy if he managed to coach the wizards WAY past the pistons, so people like me can watch karma mangle joe dumars. i'd even be a bandwagon fan of the wizards, kinda.

what i'm concerned about is that the only wizards jersey i own has a big fat 0 on it. the only reason i own this jersey is because it's a $5 kids' jersey (you think i'm kidding...), and apparently kohl's only carries kids' jerseys in agent fucking zero. i really hate that guy. give me a 3 or a 4. oh, or a 12, because, really, how hilarious would it be if i wore the shortest guy's jersey?


brads, caps my ride: "i've got this car sitting on fifteens. stock." deadpan.

oh, yeah... that made fun of the rangers...


oh, and the wizards suck.