yes, i'm underweight.
*note: i'm lacking sleep. this post will probably ramble, and may not make sense. i'm sorry.
i've been trying to gain weight, and i can't. i lost my freshman 15 (instead of gaining it, like most people), and i've been unsuccessfully trying to gain it back since. for those keeping count, this would be nearly 8 years.
i've been told i'm lucky. in a way, i am. i don't face the scornful looks of strangers who assume that my corpulence is a result of lack of self control, or of laziness. i don't have trouble fitting in tight seats or spaces.
this does not mean, however, that i don't have to watch what i eat; that i don't have to worry about heart disease, diabetes, and the like; or that i don't have to exercise. bmi is an indicator of risk, but it is not a measure of risk. if i eat nothing but lard, it's possible that i will still be underweight--but i will likely be fatty (flabby) and extremely unhealthy, at risk for pretty much every disease associated with obesity. please don't confuse being slim with being healthy. similarly, don't confuse being overweight with being unhealthy.
whatever--blah blah blah. i'm stating things that shouldn't have to be stated, but i feel like i need to cover my ass. perhaps i don't have enough faith in people. perhaps it's just me. call me self-conscious. call me insecure.
cnn reported on vanity sizing as it relates to body perception in society. on a personal level, i have a more immediate problem with this practice.
instead of slowly making me think that i am smaller than i am, vanity sizing is making it nearly impossible for me to buy clothing. while messing with sizes, clothing manufacturers have managed to slide my size off the bottom of the scale. ten years ago, a size 3 might have been tight on me at my current size (dimensions?). now, the smallest size at most stores (usually 00) is too big for me. in some places, i can nearly pull a pair of 00 pants off without unbuttoning. this is NOT RIGHT.
before you tell me to go gain weight, i have to state that, even though i'm underweight, i'm not actually underweight by that much, and gaining weight won't make enough of a difference for me not to have this problem. i am the opposite of "big boned" ("small boned"? that sounds horrible...), which means that i'd be a lard-ass before i reached a "normal" size. this is not to say that i couldn't gain enough weight to fit into a 00 or a 0 without looking fat, but as i said, it's hard for me. i am a small human--short, but (mostly) proportional. in much the same way that a "normal" sized tall girl will look like a stick, a "normal" sized merc may look pudgy. remember-petite and tall clothing share waistband sizes with normal clothing.
i've heard of wedding dress boutiques that only stock dresses in size 10. you try it on in that size with whatever clips and pins are required, and then you get your own dress tailored to your size. sucks for anybody who's larger than a size 10 (real 10 or vanity 10? i don't know), or anyone significantly smaller than a size 10.
size. humph.
(i'm sorry... i'm now too tired to make a point.)
posted by Mercuria @ 2:05 PM
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